“A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.”
Congratulations, you have started your journey! You have taken the brave step of searching for someone to help you along with your journey to improved personal wellness and enriched relationship.
Couples counselling is a journey. Depending on what kind of journey you are taking, you will gain different skills along the way. For some, it will be a journey of healing, or a journey of growth, or a journey of learning. For most, however, it will be a journey involving some degree of all three wellness skills.
Every area of your personal wellness (financial, spiritual, physical, emotional, social, vocational, sexual, and environmental) interacts greatly with your relationship. See The Couple Wellness Expert’s “Relational Wellness Wheel” below. Hover over each wellness area to read Melissa’s description of it and how it relates to your relationship.
- Are you experiencing distress and unhappiness in your relationship?
You may be experiencing emotional pain that is impacting other areas of your life. You know that for you and your partner to have the best possible relationship you can, certain changes need to take place. These changes need to happen in order to restore balance, respect, and closeness between the two of you. It takes both partners to work towards and sustain a sense of balance personally and relationally. It is my belief that if the two of you are motivated and committed, you have the potential to reach that goal. Often it takes one person to initiate the journey, but it will take effort and willingness from both of you to find the answers and healing you are seeking. You both already have the answers within you. Often times the surface level issues that are causing you distress now are really a reflection of deeper underlying issues that need to be addressed. Once any underlying issues have been dealt with, most couples find that there are fewer surface issues to deal with. It is my role to listen to each side, to reflect, inform and challenge both of you. I will help you to recognize and work through those underlying issues and will guide you in building effective communication skills as you travel the path of healing on your journey to a happy and sustainable relationship and personal wellness.
- Do you want to build the skills needed to help your relationship last?
Knowing that nearly 50% of marriages end in separation or divorce may be enough for you to make the effort to work on the foundation of your relationship before problems arise. Across the globe, this statistic of nearly 50% has clearly been going on for 40 years, but it doesn’t have to apply to you. Maybe you are engaged to be married, recently married, or have been married for some time but feel your relationship needs a boost. Relationships take consistent effort and work. It is very easy to forget this and start taking each other for granted. It is also very common to have high expectations of your relationship, only to find yourself feeling disappointment down the road.
You are not alone and I am trained to help you learn the skills necessary to cope with the inevitable conflicts or stresses that come along in every relationship. The practical aspects of a relationship (such as finances and chores) are important to work out and communicate about because you are (or will be) sharing a life together. I love working with premarital couples and using tools such as PREP/Enrich to quickly assess their compatibility and personalities. Annual relational check-ups and couple retreats are also great ways to help get your relationship back on track or simply encourage more closeness. The old adage of an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure is very true. You will find this to be a personal and relational journey of growth.
- Are you interested in relationship education?
If you are part of a school or church and would like to have someone come and speak to your group of children, youth, or adults regarding healthy relationships, I am available. My vision is to help people understand what is involved in a healthy relationship before they are even in one or before they encounter any serious relationship problems. Values such as trust and respect are the foundation of a healthy working relationship. Respect for oneself, respect for others, and knowing your rights as a human being is imperative because without respect there can be no trust and trust is foundational in relationships that work. This is a journey of learning.
There is hope!
Regardless of whether you are cohabiting, engaged, recently married, or have been married for a long time, you can find that internal and relational peace you are searching for. Take your partner’s hand and together, with me as your guide, you can walk through your journey of healing, growth and/or learning.
Areas of speciality
- Premarital counselling
- Couple enrichment and couple retreats
- Couples facing issues of fertility
- Foster parents and adoptive parents
- Abuse in childhood
- Adult children of divorce
- Parenting problems
- Issues of intimacy
- Lack of self esteem or couple esteem
- Stress management
- Improving mind-body connection
- Emotional abuse
- Depression and anxiety
Choosing the right therapist is very much like choosing a partner – you have to have the emotional understanding and connection. We have to “click”. If you as a couple are ready to start our journey together, please contact me to set up an appointment so that we can see if we are a good fit. If you think you are not yet ready but would like more information, please sign up now for my quarterly newsletter “Achieving Wellness”. At the same time you will immediately get free tips on how to make your relationship work in today’s busy and demanding social environment.